In case you wondered, the world is full of special people. They look like everyone else, but on the inside…nothing. Completely and totally empty. You'd think some things would be obvious, even to these special types. But no. Take the following "headline": physically securing computers is preferable to encryption or password protection since apparently one of the easiest ways to gather data is to simply walk off with the machine.

Ummm.

Yes.

Well.

I suppose that's one reason most people lock their doors at night and hide their shiny objects under thick layers of protective dust under otherwise innocent looking beds. I'm not so sure Joe Norm in office land is terribly concerned with someone walking off with their laptop. .

But they probably should be. One laptop here, one flash drive there, and pretty soon everyone knows your numbers, name, and exciting credit information. A tweak here and twiddle there and your desktop is singing the siren song of the botnet herder. And really, how many of you honestly KNOW all the phone numbers in your cell? Would you remember your girlfriend's birthday, the number to the pizza place on the corner, the addy for the latest gathering, the fact that you have a fun visit to the dentist planned for next Tuesday at 10? How much of your life lives in your head these days, and how much lives in your pocket?

If you're not willing to leave your wallet on the table when you wander off for a few minutes of random whatever, then why the hell are you willing to leave your laptop there? Is it so tough to stick a blackberry in the pocket and keep on truckin?

Posted by StuR at 07:55 PM | Permalink

Ah, the classics. You shouldn't really mess with the classics, even when they end wrong. And freedom…well, how can you go wrong with that?

And yet, some companies in their mighty wisdom and small intellect have done just that. Apparently a survey showed that something like 90% of employers wanted to block their wage slaves from accessing online games from "work" machines. First…this is a surprise? Someone spent money on this? Apparently someone who believes that all non-work interests can be checked at the door and who missed that "computers = fun way to spend your time" memo handed out, oh, 20 years ago. And who uses phrases like "unnecessary burden on company bandwidth" (they're clearly not sharing my webhosting company... someday, someday when the victory and paycheck are mine I'm going to spring for the bright shiny account with bells, whistles, and dancing girls. Till then I'd rather eat something other than ramen noodle and simply deal with the amusing world of low rent quantized chaos).

So what's the point to this magnificent example of effective business information management? To sell software of course! I spent much of my morning installing a new anti-virus that specifically targets Second Life. Because everyone knows that Second Life is the pinnacle of excitement for the cubby dwellers of the world and now even this tiny cushion of unreality is being pulled out from under their butts (caution, if you slip in that puddle of irony you'll probably break something. And if your office is blocking your favorite alternate life space you wont even be able to share your pain.). No more virtual café sitting, library browsing, and face time in the forum for them! Oh no…time to focus on whatever it is you're being paid to focus on and stop wasting those corporate resources.

Freedom…what a flirt.

Posted by StuR at 07:54 PM | Permalink

Not much happening this week. Some ups, some downs, some idiots at work. What can I say?

Actually, there is some stuff I could say. But I wont. Because I'm funky like that. But I might hint that if you're behind that botnet pimpage I found last night then you should probably prepare for some financial misfortune courtesy of yours truly. But then again, I've seen more prophetic fortune cookies. And you shouldn't believe everything you read online anyway. So sleep happy little nerf herders, there's nothing out there at all. Just the wind.

Posted by StuR at 07:53 PM | Permalink

One pill makes you…dead. Or "why we don't buy drugs off the net and then take them ourselves". Of course, it takes all types, and certainly there must be a market for pills laced with uranium, strontium, barium, and boron. But not a big one. And apparently the market is getting smaller all the time.

So, monkey see, monkey do, but monkey no eat the poison pill. K?

Does make you wonder a bit about the state of the world. The ending of an age. The passing of the torch. The…I've run out of metaphors. Or are those platitudes? What makes some people so willing to trust the spam that shows up in their in box? Do they honestly think a Nigerian princess has chosen them from the phone book? That they are the sole surviving heir of a previously unknown fortune? What makes them think they're all that special? Hell, they're not even responding to unique spam! A minute with snopes, or a smack upside the head, should fix the problem but no. They'd rather self-medicate. And then call someone like me to pick up the pieces.

So pay attention boys and girls! You have to keep your eyes open and look both ways before pushing that button or opening that file. Otherwise you're just relying on someone like me to get to you first and save your machines from botnet hell. And although I'm good, there's only one of me and I can't save everyone. Not to mention, there's a certain justice to the situation…why should a system be any less a brainless tool than its user? Don't people look like their dogs, or something like that?

Posted by StuR at 07:52 PM | Permalink